It has been scientifically proven that Diabetes is a condition where the body fails to ingest sugars properly. What has not been discovered yet, is that it slowly drives mothers insane. Although, I feel the connection should come any day now.
I do not personally have Diabetes. I do, however, have the pleasure of knowing the struggles it comes with and the joy of watching my child walk out my door every single day, knowing all the things that could go wrong during the time she is away from me. That alone is enough to drive a person mad, but there are other ways too.
Another reason, you ask? Well, did I mention that yesterday I made my three year old take her blood sugar? Yes, I did that and then because that wasn't enough, I took her to the doctor and made them test her for Diabetes. Now, I have good reasons for putting my child through this and I am not the mother that cries Diabetes at every turn, but I can say that this disease has made me question every move I make.
Recently, C has been going to the bathroom all the time. Even her teacher has noticed that she will go to the restroom 4-5 times over the two and a half hour school day. This is not normal. It is also not normal to be thirsty all the time or ask for food insistently only to eat half and then say your stomach hurts for the next half an hour. She is losing sleep and has started to wake up more often with a wet pullup. The good news is, she is still gaining weight and her activity level is basically the same.
So, this could possibly be a weather change issue or her wanting to get out of eating or a number of other things. However, when you are a mother to one Diabetic child, your constant fear is that you may actually have two and you just don't know it. You want to save your "Non-Diagnosed" children from what you couldn't save your "Diagnosed" child from. The nightmare of the PICU, the horror of the ambulance ride and the very long and scary hospital stay. You want to protect them from the pain your Diabetic child felt when no one understood what was wrong. In fact, the guilt I will forever feel for not being able to protect my oldest from those terrors still keeps me up some nights. I know there was nothing I could have done back then, I didn't have the information or the insight on what to look for. Now, things are different. I am armed and ready for another strike to my family, but will it come?
These days, we have pretty much settled into our Diabetic, knowledge filled world and are pretty confident in our strides to arm our oldest with the information needed for a full and healthy life. But, have our efforts made us too sensitive? Have I totally lost it?
For those of you placing bets, today is NOT the day they have me committed, sorry.
I am the mother of a Diabetic child and we are forever changed by this disease. It makes us think differently, act differently to a situation and it also makes us do somewhat crazy things, but it also brings us closer in more ways then I can count. I would do anything to protect my children from any threat that comes our way, just like any parent would. Diabetes is one threat we have dealt with before. I don't know the outcome of that test, but I don't care either. If its Diabetes again, I say bring it on. We battle you every single day anyway, what's a little more insulin in our lives. If it's not, then I have put my mind at ease... at least for now.
**Update: Got a call from the doctor's office 24 hours after this was posted. C does not have Diabetes at this time. Those were the nurse's exact words, "She does not have Diabetes at this time." She couldn't elaborate more on what that meant, it was just what she was told to say. The battle rages on.
