Today, as I was randomly scrolling through Facebook I found a post about Household planners and thought to myself, "What a brilliant idea! Why hadn't I thought of that!"
So, being the list loving, office supply obsessed person that I am, I immediately jumped into this project.However, what I found in the process was a me that I thought I lost a long time ago.
I made a plan on what my household planner would entail and got to work. I pulled out my tote of office supplies from the basement (yup, I'm that in love), I went to my closet and dusted off my old paperwork divider with the notion of making it something else and I dug through my desk to get all of that stuff tucked away neat and tidy. I started to tackle a little bit of several nagging tasks that are on one of my many lists. It fell really good to get started on these things, but all of a sudden, my progress was stopped dead. The old paper divider that I dragged out of my closet was like a time capsule I hadn't touched since 2009. It held everything from 2008 to 2009. Bills and statements to funny post cards from my best friends' college days and every kind of greeting card you can think of. That year was my "growing up" year.
When my oldest daughter was born in May of 2007, I started noticing things in her father's and my relationship that I hadnt noticed before. It was then that I decided our lives need to change. I needed to grow up and being with him was not only keeping me from that, it was also showing my daughter that it was exceptable to put up with all that I did. So, after her first birthday I started making preparations to move out and a few months later we did just that. I was free! I was reborn and not about to waste my second chance for me and my daughter.
I had a plan and here is the list I came up with to do just that.
What I want before I'm done
Travel
Learn to shoot a gun
Learn to shoot a bow
Bow Fish
Go hunting
Teach my daughter EVERYTHING I know
Drive a stick
Drive a motorcycle
Get married
Have a family
Buy a house
Help people - families, strangers, kids
Finish school
Depend on me and only me
Be a better Christian
Read more
Learn different languages
Get more involved in the community and school
Get invovled in a good caouse
Just be involved
Be happy with just me
Fall in love, I mean really in love
Take dance lessons
Dance regularly
Almost 7 years later, I have crossed a bunch of things off of that list.
I met the love of my life and yes we are really in love. Together we bought a house, had a family, traveled a little (and will continue to) and are in the process of teaching our daughters everything we know. I dance all the time, I don't care who is watching. I get as involved in school things and community events as I can and plan to get even more involved as my girls get older. I'm working on being a better Christian, getting involved and helping others, but I think those things will never really be crossed of my list. Can you ever really do enough of that?
There is still a lot still left undone though. One major thing that sticks out more then the others is "to be happy with just me". How can I have come so far in so many ways, but still struggle with something like that?
This year is my year, this year its going to happen. I'm finally going to be able to look at this list and cross off some of these things that I was too afraid to cross off before.
I'm finally going to be able to say, I love me just as I am and I don't care if anyone doesn't agree!
