Not Your Average Baby Mama

When I was little, besides a brief period of wanting to be an FBI agent, the only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom.

Today, my dreams have come true and I am blessed with three beautiful girls. They bring so much to my life, but I often think about how different my life would be if I couldn’t have had children. 

That reality was unfortunately given to my cousin, N and her husband R. While I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to learn you will never be able to bare your own children, I can say that if it happened to me, I would not have been able to handle the news quite as well as these two.

N and R had been married 5 years when she lost her uterus to tumors, possible cancer and a bunch of other horrific things.  While I don’t feel like that is my story to tell, I can say that these two are the most amazing, supportive and loving couple I have ever met. Even after all of their battles, they go to every baby shower, ever birthday party and every baptism with huge smiles on their faces and a ton of love in their hearts. I look up to this couple in so many ways and can only hope that after I have been married for 9 years I can say I still love my spouse half as much as they love each other. 

I have known N a really long time, she is my cousin. Actually, her mom and my mom are first cousins and we spent a brief time, when we were young, living under the same roof while both sets of parents were going through a divorce. As we grew, we saw each other at random family events and as adults, N and R moved back to KC where my husband and I lived only about a mile down the road from them.

I first started thinking about being N and R’s gestational surrogate in 2009, but it wasn’t until 2012 that it was actually discussed.

N’s grandmother (my Great Aunt) passed away in June of 2012.  My mother was really close to her aunt, so my mother, me and my three girls (5 yrs, 2 yrs. and 7 mo.) made the 14-hour trip to Sturgis, ND for the funeral. From the moment we arrived my girls were attached to N and R. They chased, played, cuddled and laughed the whole trip with my girls.  It was there that I was sure, I could picture them running around with their own little one and I wanted to help in anyway I could.

I do have to add a quick thank you to N’s and my mothers for getting together, having a few drinks and discussing the details. Neither N nor I wanted to step on any toes and thought it was best to let the other person come to us. If our mothers hadn’t gotten involved, I’m not sure we would have gotten to this point.  How often can you say that and mean it truthfully?

After a year of planning, we are all finally ready! I am both honored and excited to be able to be apart of this amazing experience. I have my beautiful family and I feel so blessed to have that, why wouldn’t I help N and R achieve that too?